


Oh, The Stupid Things I Do, For A Stupid Man Called, You

by CoffeesForFuckers



Series: Gay Boys Doing Some Gay Shit [4]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: AU, Adorable, Cute, Dancing, Fluff, Gay, Happy, Happy Ending, Kissing, M/M, Sweet, a bunch of random prompts used to make this one thing, brallon, long but worth it, stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 16:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10994592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeesForFuckers/pseuds/CoffeesForFuckers
Summary: Falling in love happens in strange ways. You could fall in love at first sight and know right away or not realize until years later, or possibly not until it's too late.Dallon Weekes doesn't know what love is, what it feels like, tastes like, looks like...Love is doing all the stupid things for the person you are in love with.Brendon Urie is just a kid who needs to grow the hell up and do something with himself. He can't dance, he can't do mat good enough, he can't make friends and can't get a date. He just can't be a normal person, can't be himself.He can't figure out how to fall in love either.As Dallon runs into this kid so much like him, he just can't help but protect him by staying away.But not for too long.This is the story of two people finding out what love really is without even realizing there's even any there.





	Oh, The Stupid Things I Do, For A Stupid Man Called, You

Oh, the stupid things you do for the things you love. And I, Dallon Weekes am the dumbest of them all.

It was prom night, supposedly the most memorable night of your life or some bullshit like that. They’d hired a shit band in an equally as shit dance hall, my band was better than this and all I did was bumble around the stage like the awkward, tall guy I am and yell into a microphone. If you couldn’t do better than that then you really needed to stop.

I couldn’t really dance without another person, I had gone to dance lessons for a few months for a wedding surprise to my mom. She’d married David, my step-dad who was pretty cool and I was going to be doing a mother/son dance with her and I wanted to surprise her. She was surprised and all but I’ve never needed them again as I didn’t dance much, especially with girls or any other people for that matter. 

Also it was hard to find a prom date when you look like me. A tall, weird, emo guy with a shit hair-cut, I mean, I would be turned off too if it were me.

I’m stood off to the side, just watching as mostly everybody had fun with their friends and dates, both of which I lacked. I had ‘friends’ but they all had better friends of their own. Not that I blamed them either. I wasn’t the ideal pick for a friend either.

I was weird and band obsessed, I mostly liked to talk music as that was what I knew but none of my friends liked that stuff. My actual friends who were in my band with me were from a different town and couldn’t attend the dance without a date and it would be hard to say all four of these guys were my dates.

I notice a boy, probably around my age, alone on the other end of the dance hall. I decide to go join him.

“Hey!” I yell over the music and he glances over at me as I lean against the wall next to him, I towered over him, “Why aren’t you dancing with the ladies!?” I call and he half-smiles.

“Girls don’t like me!” He laughs, “I also can’t dance!” He shrugs.

“Look, attending prom without knowing how to dance is tragic. I just can’t let you face that humiliation.” 

“Thanks?” He speaks as I extend my hands out to him. I wasn’t quite sure why I was offering to help this awkward looking kid but I just had to.

A small smile plays at my lips, “Don’t worry, I’m a good teacher... Everyone says so.” I tell him and he hesitantly takes my hands. I didn’t even think of the backlash we’d get for this at the time.

He stifles a laugh as I dramatically pull him towards me, I truly was a drama queen and I knew it. I can tell he wants to show off to me but he can’t, “Just follow my lead.” I chuckle, the song was more fast paced than I hoped but I could pull it off, I step back and he steps towards me, I shuffle along to the side in a tango-like motion, holding his hands out before us. I bring our arms up in the air and spin, my arm firmly around his waist and his around mine loosely.

I tip him back and lean in closer to him myself, our faces too close for complete strangers but neither of us seemed to mind at all in reality. I sweep him off his feet and flip him, he lands it perfectly one hand still holding mine and I spin him into my arms, his back to my chest. He twirls out of my grip, releasing my hand halfway through the spin, stopping and doing a full on backflip and landing  about a foot in front of me, his eyes, locked on mine as his arms extend towards me, they were crossed and I take them, my arms crossed as well, pulling him into me, his body crashes into mine and I shove him back, releasing one hand and twirling him around, tugging him back into me. 

I dip him just as the song ends, both of us panting heavily. Neither of us realized that quite a lot of people had gathered to watch.

“You said you couldn’t dance.” I cough.

“I can’t without another person.”

***

I never thought that teaching that lonely kid at the prom how to dance could end badly. That was until people started the gay rumors. Everything went from already pretty bad to worse in less than a day.

“Hey fucker! Wanna dance with me?” A kid teases, “You probably want to fuck me huh? I’m so out of your league anyway. Aren’t we all out of your league? Even that giant faggot, Dallon is better looking than you.” I can hear from around the corner. I pick up my pace and find the kid I danced with, he’s shoved up against the lockers by some guy barely taller than him. 

“Yo, can you shut the fuck up and stop bothering him?” I shout, then noticing that the boy was in tears and he seemed to have been beaten up pretty badly and definitely more than once. I felt so unbelievably bad now.

The guy drops him and he lands on the floor, pulling his knees to his chest as a defence. He looked so afraid, “If you want to beat up on anybody, beat up on me. I told him that I was into him at the dance and he shot me down ‘cause he doesn’t swing that way and he agreed to dance with me, to make  _ me _ happy. If you want to push anybody around for being gay or bi, or anything of the sort, then beat me up over it.” I speak and watch as the boy looks up at me in awe at what I’d just done.

“You can fight back, he can’t.” The guy shrugs at me.

“Yeah but he’s not the faggot, I am, right? So you should be beating me up and apologizing to him.” I demand, “I won’t fight back if you just fuck off and leave other people out of it.” The guy nods.

“After class. I’m late.” He turns and stomps off down the hall. I help the boy off the floor and he looks up at me with shaky, honey-brown eyes. I sigh and give him a hug.

“I’m sorry, kid. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble for anything.” I say as I pull back and he shakes his head.

“I had fun. You made my night great. Don’t apologize… Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Dallon.” He smiles sadly.

“Don’t thank me, it was my fault so I’ll take the blame. Plus most people are too afraid to fight me anyway.” I ruffle his hair, “You got beat up and it’s my fault.”

“Don’t worry about it. My name’s Brendon by the way.” He speaks, “I’m sorry to cut this short and all, I just need to get to class… Thank’s again.”

“I should go too. No problem, Brendon. See you around.”

I only now noticed how cute and small he was.

***

It’s almost spring. I graduated two years ago after spending three years being beaten mercilessly for being ‘gay’. It was worth it to help someone else out. I was waiting for a crosswalk light to turn green, my earbuds shoved deep into my ears and music blaring so loud that I was probably going to be deaf by the end of the day. I’m bobbing my head to the beat of the song and mumbling the lyrics to myself.

I love music so much.

I notice a guy step out of a store across the street. He’s holding a couple bags. It seems like he’d been shopping all day. The sun was setting and I was just ready to go home after a long day of band stuff.

The guy steps up to the curb, looking both ways before starting to cross the street. A car speeds around the corner just as he gets to the middle line and instead of doing the smart thing and going back to the side of the street he came from, he bolts across, narrowly avoiding the car but tripping over himself in the process and landing at my feet. I chuckle, pulling out an earbud and reaching an arm down to him.

“You okay, man?” I ask and he staggers to a seated position, looking up at me, his nose is bleeding. 

He takes my hand and I pull him up easily, “Thanks, I’m fine.” He gives a breathy chuckle.

“Your nose is bleeding.” I point out and his hand flies up to his face, running his finger under his nose and looking at his hand.

“Oh shit, you’re right.” He mumbles, going to put his white sleeve to it but I catch his hand.

“Here, don’t ruin your shirt.” I pull a black cloth out of my pocket, I use them at practice to wipe sweat off my forehead but this one was brand new and never used thankfully.

“You sure?” He asks.

“Yeah, it’s just a rag.” I shrug and he places it to his nose. He takes it away only a moment after and glances at it, squinting at it for a second and looking up at me with wide eyes, just as he did so I knew who this man was.

Those honey-brown eyes.

“Dallon Weekes? Like the kid from high school?” He says in awe.

“Brendon?” I say and he nods excitedly.

“My last name is Urie if you never knew that.” He smiles at me. He grabs my arm and pulls a sharpie out of one of his bags and pops the cap off, scribbling his name and number onto my skin.

“Hit me up sometime, I’ve gotta be home for a family thing in like ten minutes.” He says and goes to hand the cloth back to me.

“Keep it.” I insist.

“How about I keep it and you call me when you want it back?” He laughs starting to jog off in the opposite direction, “Actually! Just call me!” He shouts over his shoulder.

“I will!” I yell back with a laugh.

I called him later that night.

***

“You want me to dress up like a girl for the whole night so your parents think you have a girlfriend?” I say in shock, “I’m like five stories taller than you and don’t have boobs, nor do I look like a girl.”

“Fuck you… And you’d be surprised at what I can do, now go tuck and tape.” He points to the bathroom. I can’t believe I’m actually fucking doing this. 

I look at Brendon unamused as he tugs the wig onto my head, I hated him sometimes. He’d put a fuck-ton of makeup on me and was fixing up some fake boobage for me right after he got the wig on.

“You better appreciate me.” I huff.

“I do.” He kisses my cheek dramatically, “I love you Dally!” He squeals in a girly voice.

“Brendon, my balls are somewhere inside of me right now and my dick is almost up my own ass.” I say and he breaks down into hysterical laughter.

“Impressive Dal!” He chokes. 

“Your dick will be up your ass if you don't shut the hell up.” I roll my eyes as he fixes the bra around me that has gel pads sewed into it.

“Oh please, it would be one  _ hell _ of an experience.” He winks and I give him a furrowed look.

“Are you saying you  _ want _ to be  _ fucked _ in the  _ ass _ ?” 

He laughs, “No, dumbass, and that’s not lady-like to say,  _ Darline _ .” He smirks at me and I shoot daggers at him, “Let me hear you’re pretty voice, baby.” Brendon taunts.

“I’m going to cut your dick off in your sleep.” I speak in the best ‘girl voice’ I could muster.

“Sexy.” He chuckles and smacks me on the arm, “Please be more ladylike around my family.” He requests from me but he would be lucky if I didn’t murder him halfway through the evening.

\\\\\

 

I can’t believe what I’d do for this stupid boy. I stumble over myself in the tight heels Brendon insisted I wear and struggle to breathe in this constricting dress that Brendon picked out for me.

Being a girl must suck.

I don’t see the appeal.

“If your parents can’t tell from looks then they’ll be able to tell from the way I walk in these heels.” I speak in that stupid high-pitched tone.

“Most girls can’t walk in heels anyway, Dal.” He retorts, “You could just be more of a tomboy, who knows?” He smiles, “Make up a character for yourself and I’ll play along.”

“Okay, cool.”

We get to the door of his parent’s house and he tosses the door open, “I’m here!” He shouts like the diva he is, having to make an entrance everywhere we went.

“Brendon!” His mother grabs him into a hug, he looks just like her.

“Mom, this is my girlfriend, Da-Darline.” He smiles as he looks over at me, it’s an overly, too-genuine smile.

“Jesus… Brendon she’s so tall.” She looks me up and down before stepping closer, extending her hand out to me, I take it, “I’m Grace.”

“I’m Darline.” I nod and she still seems puzzled by me.

She drops my hand and takes Brendon to the side, I can still hear her talking either way, “Brendon, she’s so manly, her hands are massive and tough and even her face is kind of manly! What do you see in her?” I can see Brendon is pissed but I don’t quite get why.

“You can’t just insult someone for how they look! It’s not like h-, she can help it!” He snaps and even I flinch, not quite expecting an outburst like that. I’ve known him for ages and yes, he does tend to be a little over dramatic but he was really pushing it when it comes to dramatic right now.

“Bren, it’s okay.” I speak up and he turns to look at me, he seems shook up.

“No, it’s not!” He shouts back at me.

“Chill, it’s okay… Babe.” I say unsure of my words.

He huffs and shakes his head. The night goes on like this, Brendon flipping out every time his mom said anything remotely rude about me looking weird or anything of the sort. It was sweet and all but I didn’t really need him to defend me all the time, like I knew I was an ugly-ass girl, I was a manly looking guy and could never pull off being a girl. Nor that I would ever want to be after all this.

We went home early.

***

Brendon had invited me to dinner to celebrate the success of the album for the band of his that I had joined not long after my band took a break. We were nowhere near popular in any sense of the word, yet we were still more popular than my old band.

We were about done with our meal when Brendon goes to get his wallet and he goes pale, looking at me, “Don’t tell me…” I say, looking back at him horrified.

“Please tell me you brought your wallet.” Brendon practically begs.

“You said not to!” I defend and his eyes go wide,  _ shit _ . He starts to fumble with his hands and he grabs my hand, placing something in it.

“You should totally pretend to propose to me,” Brendon says, “We can see if someone in the restaurant gives us our meals for free, they usually will. People love it when stuff like that happens.” 

My stomach flipped and my eyes went wide, I look him over in his stupid jacket and sunglasses pushed up in his hair, showing off his huge forehead. I suddenly notice my trembling hands, I’m no longer hungry either. I felt like I was actually proposing… Why the fuck did I suddenly get so worked up over it? I’m confused and not thinking straight at this point, “Why am I the one proposing? You do it. It was your idea. You’re the dumbass that lost their wallet.”

“Dallon, come on, please. You’re the manlier one here. You gotta do it.” He pleads and I relent. Stupid me with my trembling hands and heart in my throat.

“Fine…” I mutter, “Fine…” I sigh and clear my throat, rubbing at the back of my neck. What the fuck was with this sudden rush of anxiety?

Brendon leans forward in his chair and grabs my hand and I suck in a sharp breath, I’m so jumpy. Damn it. I push out the breath forcefully, I’m sweating pretty bad, almost as if I’m performing. Was I having an allergic reaction to something? Would that be good enough to get our meal for free?

Brendon looks concerned and is about to ask if I’m okay when I finally force myself to speak, “Brendon, you know that I’ve been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you, it was love at first sight and especially at first dance… You are my best friend in the world and the most amazing person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Thank you for making the past ten years the best ten years of my life, we may have only started dating a few years ago when you were broken over the loss of ‘the love of your life’. I swore to never abandon you like he did and I still promise you that so today to seal that promise for good I must ask you, Will you, Brendon Boyd Urie, will you marry me.” My voice is shallow as my throat is tight when I slide from my chair to the floor on one knee. I hold Brendon’s ring up to him, thankfully it’s flashy enough to look like an engagement ring. Brendon looks like he could cry as he nods.

“Yes! Of course, Dallon! Yes! I love you.” And it clicks in my head as the words leave his mouth. I’m trembling, I’m in love with Brendon?

I’m  _ in love _ with Brendon.

He kisses me.

Those feelings are suddenly sealed in stone.

And then I pass out.

\\\\\

I awake in a hospital bed, Brendon is pacing the room. I groan and sit up, rubbing at my head, Brendon instantaneously looks over at me, letting out a heavy breath.

“Jesus christ, Dallon!” He breathes, “I can’t believe you! If you weren’t feeling well, why didn’t you tell me!?” He scolds.

“I just thought it was nothing, I didn’t  _ feel  _ sick.” I frown.

“Why didn’t you say you were allergic to shellfish!?” He tosses his hands in the air. So it was an allergic reaction.

“I didn’t even know, man, I’ve never had any before.” I shrug with a stiff laugh.

“You are a dumbass.” He sighs, “Hurry up and get better so we can get you home.” I smile sleepily as he steps up to the bed, brushing my hair away from my face, “Get some sleep, I’ll stay here tonight.” I nod as I drift back to sleep.

***

Tour was always fun, it was so good to be around Brendon, Kenny, Dan and Spencer all the time.

Brendon and I usually shared a room while in hotels while Kenny, Dan and Spencer shared a room. Tonight was a hotel night and man did this fucking bed feel so good. I never wanted to move from it. Brendon was asleep in the bed next to mine we were both catching up on our much needed rest. I somehow couldn’t sleep and yet I was still too tired to even move.

Brendon’s restless, tossing and turning in his sleep, squirming and whimpering softly. He awakes with a start, shouting and sitting bolt upright in his bed, panting. I jump at the sound of his sudden scream, squinting in the direction of him. I can tell he’s shaking.

“Bren?” I yawn and he jumps at first. I flick the lights on and he watches me, “You alright?” I rub my eyes.

“I-... I had a nightmare.” He frowns at me and I frown back.

“You think you can sleep?” I ask, Brendon shakes his head and I get up onto my bed, standing, I hold my hands out to him and he starts to laugh. Brendon stands up on his bed. Both of us had the habit of listening to music when we went to sleep so we would be dancing to the actual music, “Take my hands you nit!” I chuckle at him with a huge smile on my face.

“What are you british now or something?” He grins as he jumps across the gap between our beds into my arms and we both tumble back, almost landing onto the floor. We’re both giggling and I pull him up, skipping a few songs that were on the playlist we had going until we got to Guillotine by Jon Bellion and I take his hands. 

We bounce on the bed, dancing with each other and fumbling everywhere, tripping over the blankets as the tangle around our feet, bumbling all over and falling into each other while laughing pretty hard. He falls into me, holding onto my biceps, giggling up at me, his big, brown eyes shone with tears of happiness. He’s leaning into me, heaving for air in between laughter. I know I’m in love with him just watching him like this. 

Always so happy.

\\\\\

We had fallen asleep on my bed, laying together and talking till the early hours of the morning. 

I wake up to Brendon making breakfast. Everything in this hotel room resided in one large open area, no doors for separate sleeping quarters or a kitchen area with walls around it. The only other separate room was the bathroom of course. Thanks to the designer of this building as I get to watch Brendon move, the muscles in his back flexing as he dances about, singing to himself softly. His shoulders have tight muscles that somewhat bulge out from under his skin with each move he makes, his spine twists about and the bones poke from his skin. It’s so hot, he’s so perfectly sculpted.

I can’t help but to keep staring at his smooth body, his v line literally gave me the biggest boner. Well all of him did in reality but I mean, his v line is basically a fucking massive arrow pointing to his dick! How could that not arouse me? 

I had a bigger thirst for Brendon than all of our fangirls and Ryan Ross combined.

My eyes roll up and down him and my mind is going wild with ideas. My favorite being the one where I pin him to the wall and fuck him from behind while trailing my mouth all along his skin.

Fuck me.

I am so gay for him.

“Dallon?” I hear him say and I almost jump out of my skin. 

_ He caught me. _

**_Abort mission._ **

“Why are you staring at me like that?” He squints.

“Huh?” Playing dumb was my only option by now, “I just woke up and am not checked in.” I rub my eyes.

“You were just staring at me with weird googly-eyes and shit man.” He chuckles and I follow suit but it’s obviously forced.

“Yeah, I am not in yet, sorry about that, my mind was elsewhere.” It wasn’t fully a lie.

“Get up and have some eggs.” He smiles at me as he gets me a plate of the food he’d just made, completely brushing off my intent staring.

“Thank you.”

***

It’s so late, so incredibly late but I’m up thinking about him. I craved him with my everything and right now I was reflecting on ever single one of those stupid things I did for him. The stupid shit I do for love and I am still a complete dipshit like I was back in high school.

After all these years, nothing has changed. I do it all for him, from getting my ass kicked to protect him to holding him when he has a bad dream, from dressing like a woman to stealing weed for him, from writing songs about him to fake proposing. So many things, stupid, stupid things because when you’re in love, if the person you love is happy you’ll stay miserable to keep them happy. But with him I’ve never been miserable.

I think of everything we’ve done together, everything we’ve been through. He’s helped me through a lot of shit and I’ve done the same for him.

I’m sitting up on my bed, my eyes so tired that they’re drooping and heavy. I run a hand up one of my arms, my skin is cool to the touch, I then brush my hair out of my face and to the side. I scratch at my side and shift in the bed. The old wood creaks every time I move. I can hear Brendon breathing heavily with sleep and the soft music in the background.

My body sways tiredly. I hear Brendon’s bed creak as he shifts in his sleep, or so I think.

“Dal?” His voice rasps, croaking sleepily.

I yawn and scratch my thigh, “Bren?”

“Why are you still up?” He mumbles, half awake.

“I could ask you the same.” I retort.

“I just woke up and rolled over and noticed you were still up.” He shifts to hold himself up on his elbow, “Now, why are you still up?” He demands.

“Can’t sleep, thinking.” I shrug as if it’s nothing.

“What about?” He coos.

“Just, uh…” I hum, “Trying to decide if this thing I did was incredibly stupid, or…” My voice trails off into the thick night air.

“What happened?” Brendon tilts his head, “What did you do?”

“Well…” I sigh as my sleepy mind wanders, “I… Fell in love with you.” 

The room falls into a gentle silence again other than the music and breathing and I just assume that he’d dozed off or not heard me. I fall back onto my bed and close my eyes in defeat.

I lay there for a while just contemplating life and what love really was when I felt the bed dip next to me and the covers shift. A gentle hand brushes over my skin and rests on the side of my neck, fingers playing with the small wisps of hair at the nape of it. I can feel the familiar soft lips of Brendon’s press to my jawline just near my ear.

“You’ve done a lot of stupid stuff for me, Dallon but I promise you that this right here, won’t be one of those things.” He whispers into my ear and his warm breath washes over my skin, sending a chill up my spine.

My head falls to the side and my nose hits Brendon’s by mistake, our lips brushing momentarily.

“I’m in love with you.” I say again.

“I think I might just be in love with you too, Dal.” 

And we kiss.

_ And kiss. _

**_And kiss._ **

My world feels okay, it’s finally whole.

My fingers lace within his and he wraps his legs around my body, his free hand playing with my hair, “I think this was love at first sight.” I tell him against his lips.

“I agree with you there.” He hums on my mouth.

Oh, the stupid things you do for the things you love. 

And I, Dallon Weekes may be the dumbest one of them all, but I know I sure as hell am the luckiest as well.


End file.
